HAPPY FAMILY TIME
How is it that there are families we look at with interest that are happier, less stressed, and more self-confident?
You stand and look with fascination, you see that the children are calm and trusting, and the parents, despite their many duties, are fully satisfied with their daily duties. They emanate strength and certainty, and mom and dad arouse authority, not dictated by force, but by a sense of control over the situation. What do happy families know that people who struggle with problems and frustrations that take away the joy of everyday life from them do not understand? How is it that some of us are able to give our children a happy, carefree childhood, while others have trouble with it and experience doubts at every step?
The most important is family. Seriously? Regardless of the questioning subject, the answers to what is most important to us in life are similar. Over 90% point to family and relationships with loved ones. It is quite paradoxical and surprising when we realize how day after day goes by for us.
Usually, responsibilities, obligations at home and at work win in the daily rush, and the family … all studies show that we have less and less time for her. Yes, it’s not our fault, we are kind of forced, left against the wall, with no choice.
Our everyday life differs from our expectations, wishes and dreams have little to do with what we face every day. This gives us frustration, fear, and guilt. Besides, let’s say a lot, we often underestimate what we have. As the Elder Gentlemen sang, “she is not happy when she is, but when she is not, you are as lonely as a dog.” Besides, we also have a lot of proverbs expressing disappointment with the family, for example “with the family it is best to take a picture” or … on a train.
Cultivating traditions Routine works in two ways. On the one hand, if it is not accompanied by moments of rest, relaxation, and breaking the set rhythm, it tires, almost kills our creativity, and cools our enthusiasm. However, on the other hand, routine is a necessary element of life, it is impossible to run away from it for a long time, it allows you to maintain a sense of security, and peace, makes each of us know what to do, how to organize time and space.
There are many factors that contribute to a routine. One of them is cultivating tradition. Each family has its own customs, not necessarily general, typical for the whole society, but traditions developed by a given family, ancestors, and grandparents, which connect several people more strongly than anything else.
It may be a tradition to take a Sunday walk after lunch, evening talks about problems or a joint trip on a bicycle on Friday. There are many possibilities. Usually, it is about spending time together and having a feeling of closeness, the opportunity to share your problems or observations.
Cultivating a tradition should not, however, be seen (and often it does) as a compulsion, something we are reluctant to do. It is important to make the child aware of the meaning of joint activities and … remain flexible. All this is to respect the distinctiveness and individuality of each family member, consequently creating patterns of behavior that will suit everyone.
Everyday life consists of small events, and details that build a whole for us. They influence our sense of satisfaction or make us disappointed. In a world where we live under pressure, we are constantly in a hurry, we experience stress related to excess duties, small kind gestures can relieve tension and give a sense of security.
Mindfulness in the family Due to their nature, children are attentive. They notice a little worm on a tree, they like to observe nature awakening to life and focus on details. Over time, however, we lose this ability and find it harder and harder to enjoy the little things. We kind of “turn off” certain areas to survive, to deal with what is really important. This is why in many families parents are not aware of the problems their children face. Theoretically, they are next door, but they cannot see what is happening in their house. They often find out about certain things by accident and are very surprised.
Shared hobbies and family strength Playing with a child are often perceived as a duty. We spend time with our daughter or son because we know we have to, we get involved because we feel guilty. Meanwhile, it does not have to be that way. Instead of playing games that we honestly hate, choosing entertainment that is boring for us, it’s better to look for something that we can find ourselves in, without the need to sacrifice and pretend. With a little patience and an open mind to new possibilities, there is a good chance that you will be able to find something that will please everyone.